The Kink List
An A–Z dictionary of kinks and BDSM terms in plain, judgement-free language — each entry one honest paragraph, safety first. Terms with a book icon link to full guides covering appeal, safety, and common misconceptions.
- Aftercare
- The wind-down after intense play: comfort, water, reassurance, debrief. Considered part of the scene, not an extra.
- Age play 📖
- Consenting adults roleplaying different ages or care dynamics. Adults only, always — see the full entry.
- BDSM
- Umbrella acronym: bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, sadism & masochism — a spectrum of consensual practices, not one thing.
- Bondage
- Consensual restraint — from held wrists to elaborate rope — for sensation, aesthetics, or surrender.
- Bratting
- Playful, negotiated defiance by a submissive partner, inviting a firm (agreed) response.
- Breeding kink 📖
- Arousal centred on the fantasy of conception risk — usually fantasy only, with real-world contraception firmly in place.
- Caregiver dynamics
- One adult partner takes a nurturing, guiding role; the other relaxes into being cared for. Related to age play.
- CNC (consensual non-consent) 📖
- Pre-negotiated roleplay of resistance scenarios. The most consent-intensive practice there is — see the full entry.
- Collaring
- A collar worn as a symbol of a dynamic — significance ranges from fashion to something like commitment jewellery.
- Degradation
- Consensual insults or humbling within pre-agreed vocabulary and limits. The opposite pole of praise.
- Discipline
- Agreed rules with agreed consequences inside a power-exchange dynamic.
- Dominance
- Taking the leading role in a consensual power exchange — responsibility as much as control.
- Edge play
- Practices with higher inherent risk, demanding experience, skill, and extensive negotiation. Not a starter category.
- Exhibitionism (consensual)
- Arousal from being seen — practiced ethically only where every observer is a consenting adult.
- Fetish
- Strong arousal linked to a specific object, material, or body part. Common, and only a clinical concern if it causes distress.
- Hard limit
- A non-negotiable no. Not up for persuasion, testing, or 'maybe later'.
- Impact play 📖
- Striking by agreement — from hand spanking to implements — with anatomy-aware technique.
- Kink
- Any consensual interest outside a culture's mainstream script. The boundary moves; the consent requirement doesn't.
- Masochism
- Finding pleasure in chosen, controlled intense sensation. Chosen is the operative word.
- Negotiation
- The pre-scene conversation: interests, limits, safewords, aftercare. Where the actual magic is arranged.
- Pet play
- Roleplaying an animal persona (kitten, puppy) within a caretaking dynamic. About headspace, not species.
- Power exchange
- The consensual, revocable transfer of decision-making from one partner to another, for minutes or by standing agreement.
- Praise kink 📖
- Strong response to verbal affirmation — being told you're doing well as a genuine amplifier.
- Protocol
- Agreed etiquette inside a dynamic: forms of address, rituals, standing rules.
- Rigger
- The partner applying rope in rope bondage; the restrained partner is often called a rope bunny.
- Roleplay
- Adopting characters or scenarios by agreement — from light pretence to fully scripted scenes.
- Sadism (consensual)
- Pleasure in skilfully delivering intense sensation to a willing, enthusiastic partner.
- Safeword
- A word that stops everything instantly, no questions. Common system: green / yellow / red.
- Sensation play
- Exploring contrasts — ice, wax, feathers, texture — often with sight removed to sharpen the rest.
- Sensory deprivation
- Muting senses (blindfolds, earmuffs) to intensify the ones that remain.
- Soft limit
- A 'not yet / only in some conditions' boundary — approachable with care and conversation, unlike a hard limit.
- Spanking
- The most common entry point to impact play — see the impact play entry for technique and safety.
- Submission
- Choosing to follow within agreed limits. An act of trust, not weakness — and always revocable.
- Switch
- Someone who enjoys both leading and yielding roles, by mood, partner, or context.
- Vanilla
- Non-kink intimacy. Not lesser — just the flavour the menu is named after.
- Voyeurism (consensual)
- Arousal from watching — ethical only with the full knowledge and consent of those watched.
Wondering where your own interests sit? The kink test maps you on six axes in about four minutes, and the interactive checklist turns this list into a conversation tool.